Celiwhat?...Seriously?

Hey monsters, how are your adventures in love going, smoothly I hope. I am going to change it up a bit and talk about sex. Everybody's favorite topic, right? Well what about the lack of sex? Or how about the choice to not have sex at all? Shocking right, I can find tons of articles on how to have the best sex, how to please your man, when to have sex, sexual positions, sexual tricks and tactics, the list goes on and on. But what about for those of us who choose not to have sex? I am not a virgin, not by any definition, (did you know there where different degrees of virginity?) but in my single journey I have decided to abstain from sex. To be celibate.  Yep, I said it, the C word. It seems that by today's standards celibacy is at the least a joke and in the extreme a dirty word. Nobody wants to talk about celibacy, well maybe the Catholic Church, but who really listens to them?

In a world of serial dating, no one wants to not have sex. That is the whole point of dating right, to sleep with whomever you want whenever you want however you want. But what happens when you take sex out of the  equation? What if you want to date, and not have sex. Every woman has a time line, the time when she will have sex, some women will do it on the first date, or hook up randomly, some if they are serious about dating make him wait, the question is how long. Do you wait until after a few dates, a few weeks, a few months? According to Steve Harvey you should at least wait 90 days before giving up the "cookie". According to the Bible you should wait until marriage.  Which one is the right one, better yet which one is the easier one?

I have decided to take sex completely off the table! Hey I am already a single mom, mid 30's and I want a serious long term relationship, not to mention the whole "I am a Christian" therefore I should at least attempt to follow what the Bible says. Besides in my not so wholesome days I never had sex without monogamy, well, the intention of monogamy, all right, the idea that it could possibly end up as a monogamous relationship. Well needless to say since I am blogging about being single these tactics obviously did not work. (insert giggle here). So I'm doing something new, or is it not something (one) new? hmmm I will have to ponder that.

All joking aside, I have found that I really don't get a lot of flack from guys about not having sex, surprisingly it is the women that I get an earful from. They usually sound something like this. "What, really, your not even going to try it out? Don't you want to know if he is any good before you marry him, No guy is going to date you if he can't have sex with you, He might date you but he will definitely cheat, that is what guys do, So does this mean all sex, you are still going to do oral right? or my favorite, the fake smile and the wow that is so brave of you, I could never do that, I like sex too much. No matter what is said they all look at you like you just fell off a turnip truck and they feel really sorry for you.

So when did not having sex or heaven forbid remaining a virgin become so terrible. Do we seriously believe that in order to get to know someone, to date someone, we have to have sex with them? I admit when I do tell a guy that I am saving myself for marriage, quite a few run, fast, but is that such a bad thing? Do I really want to date someone who is only saying the right things, doing the right things, etc just to get in my pants? I want the guy who is going to stick around because he likes who I am, because in truth when your both 80 is sex going to be the only thing making you stick around?

So, I am not going to make the guy wait 90 days, I am going to make him wait longer. I think I am worth waiting for, I think I am worth marrying for. Hey if Megan Good can wait so can I.  So monsters, what are you worth?